How December Found Me : Tired, Healing, Becoming

 CHAPTER 1 :  The Last Bend of the Year

So we stepped into the last month of 2025…

me and my scattered emotions walking side by side.

December didn’t feel like a month,

it felt like a mirror.

A mirror that made me look at parts of myself

I’ve been avoiding for too long.

It brought clarity,

“See? This is what broke you. And this… this is what held you.”

And maybe for the first time in a long time,

I listened.

I’m not fully healed, but I’m trying…

in bits and pieces,

one sunrise, one setback, one small victory at a time.

CHAPTER 2 : Milestones That Softened My Heart

This December gifted me a moment I’ll never forget,

the hardbound copy of my research paper arrived.

A dream that once felt too heavy for my shoulders…

now resting in my hands.

I sat with it for a while, holding it like something delicate,

because it wasn’t just a book, it was proof that I didn’t give up on myself

even when life made giving up look easier.

For a moment, I felt happiness, that didn’t need validation

and pride, that didn’t need permission.

This milestone was mine.

And it softened something inside me,

a reminder that even in chaos, my efforts find their way home.

CHAPTER 3 :  The Heart Still Learning to Breathe

Emotionally, this year humbled me in ways I can’t fully articulate.

There were days that took away more than they gave.

But I also learned that heartbreak doesn’t end a person, sometimes, it shapes them.

I faced challenges that made me feel small,

but I refused to shrink.

In my personal life, I struggled quietly,

in my professional life, I fought battles no one will ever know of.

Yet here I stand, still choosing myself,

still finding ways to breathe through the tight spaces.

I no longer try to fit into conversations, rooms, or lives that make me feel unwanted.

I’ve finally accepted that silence from people

is also an answer, and not all answers deserve my overthinking.

I’ve stopped blaming myself for things I didn’t break.

I’ve stopped apologising for choices

that were simply acts of survival.

This year, I learned to hold myself

the way I wish someone else had.

CHAPTER 4 : Becoming Unapologetically Me

I won’t say I’m unbothered, my heart still feels deeply.

But I’m no longer breaking in the same places.

I’m no longer crying over things that don’t water me.

And I’m no longer seeking validation

in places that once exhausted my spirit.

Moving ahead unapologetically

is not an act of rebellion, it’s an act of self-respect.

Easy? No.

Life has never been easy for me.

But I’ve learned to navigate storms with grace,

to sit with pain without letting it poison me,

to walk away without bitterness.

And somewhere along this journey,

I found a strange kind of peace,

one that tells me I’m growing,

even when it’s slow, even when it hurts.

While I await the official publication of my 5th Poetry Book,

I look back at the girl I was when the first one came out, 

eager, anxious, hopeful.

Now I’m all that and more,

wiser, softer, stronger.

It feels surreal to grow in the same soil that once buried me.

CHAPTER 5 :  Dear December, Thank You for the Lessons

Oh December…

I’m grateful we’re approaching your end.

Not because I want to run from you,

but because I’ve lived you fully.

You taught me endings don’t always hurt,

sometimes they cleanse.

Sometimes they prepare. Sometimes they release us from cages

we didn’t realise we were sitting in.

The struggles feel like they’ve run their course.

Something tells me success is waiting,

not on the other side of the year,

but on the other side of who I’m becoming.

Here’s to endings that don’t shatter us.

Here’s to beginnings that heal us.

Here’s to the girl I’m still discovering

and the woman I’m slowly becoming.

#HealingJourney

#YearEndReflections

#BecomingMe

#GrowthInProgress

#SilentStrength

#UnapologeticallyMe

#LifeLessons2025

#HealingThroughWords

#PersonalTransformation

#Inne

rStrength